Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Art of Fisting

Yes. You read that correctly.


This post is all about fisting, and my experience attending an in-depth, hands-on (in), seminar hosted by the one and only Michael Tattersall.

Let me backtrack for a moment.

This weekend is MLOXX weekend, the 20th anniversary of the second most attended leather and fetish event in North America. I corralled my husband into driving me downtown to attend what I supposed was only a talk about fisting, with perhaps the use of some sex toys for enhancement. On the way, my husband asked if there would be actual fisting - of men - involved.

I laughed. "Of course not" I assured him. Then I started to wonder. I changed my answer to "I don't think so.", and then, "They wouldn't be allowed to do an actual demo, would they?"

After we parked, we happened to run into a couple of people we knew from Ottawa's kink community who were somewhat involved in MLO weekend. I asked them if there would be actual live fisting going on at this seminar. Well, the answer was, "Oh yeah."

Frankly, I was quite surprised. I said, "How is that allowed?" and he replied that it was because it was a private event requiring an admission fee, I.D. check and signed waiver.

My husband laughed. He said it wouldn't bother him, but what about me? I wasn't sure. I didn't think it would matter to me, but I'd only ever seen fisting between men in porn before, not right in front of me. I really didn't know how I'd feel. But I figured I could always step out if I started to feel faint or anything.

I told my husband that I'd probably feel less comfortable if he were with me - sometimes I'm braver when I'm on my own. Plus, although my straight husband is very openminded, I figured he might rather not watch a live gay fisting demo if he had the choice. It would also save us ten bucks, and we're cheap. So we agreed that he would go do some shopping at the Rideau Centre while I attended the seminar.


As it turned out, I needn't have worried about my reaction. My attention was captured from the get-go, when I had to pass by two hot men dressed only in jocks and Doc Martins on my way to the bathroom.

Yep, I was in like Flynn.

Nevertheless, I made sure I sat in the back a bit, so I could hide if it became too much.

It didn't.

My attention was focused and I listened carefully to what Mike Tattersall was telling us about the practice, in order to come away with some valuable notes for the sequel to Beyond the Edge.

Now, it turned out that not only was it a live fisting demonstration, but it was hands-on (or shall we say, hands in) as well. There were two 'bottoms' volunteering as the fistees. They were both fit and attractive, and I did consider trying my hand at the technique, with my more conservative side quickly nixing that idea. What would my husband think? Would it bother him if I did it? I decided to err on the side of caution (my normal practice) and refrain, even though I was indeed very curious as to what it would feel like. Both men were enjoying themselves already, and I did have very small hands with nice long fingers... but no. I really probably shouldn't. I was married after all.

I did decide to go a bit closer in order to get a better look. And when Mike started handing out gloves to those who wanted to participate, our eyes met for a moment.

"Liz, do you want to try?" He said.

I laughed and shook my head, trying to be gracious.

And then he said something like, "You know, you probably should know what it feels like if you're going to write about it..."

I can't argue with logic. Plus, I really did want to try it. So I shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess I should," with a smile.

He passed me a glove and the game was on.

I won't go into details here, but let's just say that it was a singularly engrossing experience. I had absolutely no qualms about it, after watching it being done in front of me for half an hour. I was very gentle and careful. And when the volunteer responded very positively to what I was doing, it was quite a rush. With his encouragement, I was able to experience something I never thought I would. And, even in that clinical environment, under bright lights and with spectators all around, there was something amazing about it. And absolutely nothing distasteful. It was, in a word, remarkable.

After the seminar finished, I had a chance to speak briefly with both volunteers. I was so impressed with their ability to be so open, literally, in front of so many people in such an enclosed space. Scott, the man who was the recipient of my very careful first fisting attempt, was so sweet. After I thanked him, the three of us spoke about the intimacy and spiritual aspects of fisting, when it occurred with someone you loved and cared about.


I have to admit, I was rather giddy afterwards - I also hadn't had anything to eat for awhile - and in retrospect I should have been more helpful to Mike as he frantically tried to clean everything up before the next seminar began. But I was still on a high from experiencing something I never imagined being able to experience. I knew it would help me tremendously when putting together the scene I'm intending for The Cross and the Trinity.

And, luckily, when I met my husband afterward and told him about it (and blamed Mike entirely of course) he seemed quite amused and somewhat impressed. Now if that isn't the test of true love! Driving your wife to a fisting seminar and supporting her for taking advantage of a real learning opportunity.

He was probably just glad I tried it out on someone else ;)

So I'd like to thank Michael Tattersall for a frank and informative seminar, and for encouraging me to expand my horizons. I'd also like to thank the amazing Scott and Rob for their incredible job of demonstrating a surprisingly popular, but often misunderstood, sexual activity.

~ Liz



8 comments:

H.A. Fowler (Heather) said...

You are one brave and adventurous writer! I bet it will make your story better, having first hand experience... so to speak. ;)

Elizabeth Lister said...

I certainly hope so ;)

~ Liz

Andrea said...

Great post, I really enjoyed reading about it ;)

D said...

I have to say that reading about fisting and watching it in Gay porn is a guilty pleasure of mine but I don't know if I could have watched it 'Live'. I'm sure it was very interesting to experience. You go girl!

G.B.Gordon said...

Thanks for posting. Wish I'd known about that seminar.

VA said...

I find an individual's ability to do this incredible--not the physical, but the amount of trust they have to have in order for their bodies to physically allow it and enjoy it.

You're a brave woman, Liz. My experience is limited to reading and Maplethorpe exhibition photos which just left me in awe.

christinamandara said...

Hello - Would you have any objections to my reblogging this post on www.christinamandara.wordpress.com? Loved it from start to finish and admired you for being so brave! I really am going to have to get more 'hands on' with my research ;)

Elizabeth Lister said...

I don't mind at all. Repost away :)

~ Liz