Wednesday, May 23, 2012
In Search of a Quiet Mind
On Friday, the day before our long weekend here in Canada, I deactivated both my Facebook accounts. Both accounts, you say? Yes. I had a Liz Lister account for my writing persona, and another account under my real name. I spent most of my time on the Liz profile, as that one was the most fun ;) But a couple of months ago I realized that I seemed to be on Facebook an awful lot. It was just so interesting, seeing what all of these cool people were up to. Some had lifestyles so different from mine, that it was eye-opening and fascinating to see the kind of things they'd post about. I started getting added to some groups and invited to lots of fun events, most of which I couldn't attend due to the fact that I have a husband and two children to look after. Some I did attend, and thoroughly enjoyed, although it made the events that I couldn't attend that much more tempting.
And what's wrong with that? What's wrong with being popular on Facebook? Isn't that what everyone wants? Well, yes. But I simply couldn't keep up with it. And it left my brain spinning with information at the end of the day. Now, I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis, so it's quite possible that what I find to be cognitively overwhelming wouldn't similarly affect someone else. Lots of people enjoy Facebook and seem to be able to manage their time well.
I always used to be great at mindless meditation. Not self-conscious Meditation, where you say 'Now I am going to Meditate' and sit down in a cross legged pose to try too hard to do just that. But a more relaxed, staring into space and letting my thoughts roam freely in a wavelike way while I stare out the window, kind of meditation. I realized recently that I don't do that anymore. If I have a free moment, I pop onto Facebook to check out the action and wind up getting sucked in for a half hour or longer.
I'm a writer. I already spend alot of time on my laptop, working on multiple stories in various stages of production. Add Facebook to that and I was on the computer most of the time. Then there are my blogs, which have been getting neglected because I've been spending so much time on Facebook.
I quit Facebook before, back when I was just a stay-at-home mom, not a published author. I remember a sense of freedom and peace when I did so. People would ask me if I missed it and I would answer honestly that I did not. I was quite happy not having a Facebook account. Then, when my first story, Exposure, was contracted, I was also encouraged by several people to have a presence on Facebook. I set up a Facebook Page and a personal profile, which I needed to administrate the Page. And I've had a love/hate relationship with Facebook ever since.
I realized recently that my two blogs are getting a decent number of average daily views, my Facebook page is up to 212 'Likes' and perhaps I don't need to use Facebook as so much of a publicity tool. I'd like to focus on putting up more quality content on both my author blog and my kink blog. I'm able to keep my Facebook Page because my husband (bless him) is one of the administrators and I can access it through his profile. All of the people with whom I interacted regularly on Facebook have my email address and I have theirs, so there's no reason to completely lose contact. I hope that they think of me occasionally and look up my blog/s, my Facebook Page or shoot me a quick email. I would love to hear from them.
Yesterday was a wonderful day. I published two blog posts (one that I wrote Monday, and one that I wrote yesterday morning). I played two games of Uno and Monopoly (each) with my son. I cleaned both bathrooms and put away the laundry from the weekend.
And I even had time to sit and stare out the window for twenty minutes in the afternoon, while my kids were both at school, and let my mind wander.