So, I am almost finished Part One of my first full length novel. So very very exciting. My characters are so alive to me and, really, I'm just following them along and describing what is happening as it seems to be occurring independently of me at this point. This is the best part of writing.
A friend of mine came up with my new working title of 'Beyond the Edge' for the story of Tate and Sebastian. The word 'edge' has so many connotations, not least the sexual technique of bringing a man to the edge of orgasm again and again until he is a desperate, frustrated mess. And a person can be on the edge of anything really, or beyond the edge of anything. It also resonates strongly with me because this story is beyond anything I have written before. It is a hardcore bdsm m/m romance and probably won't be for everyone. My previous stories have all contained some bdsm elements, The Story of E being the most obvious, but it is still pretty lightweight compared to actual bdsm lifestyles and other books that are out there. The other way this title fits is because Tate and Sebastian eventually go beyond being in an arranged bdsm scenario with another man to eventually find love with each other. This is really going beyond the edge of anything they have previously experienced.
I started reading bdsm stories when I was in my twenties, and I really really enjoyed them. For me, it is a way to vicariously enjoy very erotic and boundary pushing sex acts, without actually engaging in them for real. I do respect and admire people who enjoy these things in real life, but this is the closest I can come (pun not intended). As a married woman with two young children, I can't exactly go out and become involved in it, although my husband and I dabble in bondage when we can (read: when the kids are gone for a few hours).
As someone with natural 'sub' tendencies and secret 'dom' desires, I feel that I 'get' the basic psychological basis for this kind of 'play'. Safe bdsm 'play' is carried out with very clear goals and limits and a real understanding and trust between the 'players' so that no one actually gets hurt or injured. Yes, some pain is usually a part of it, but we can all stand a little pain and sometimes it can add to the eroticism of a scene and help to heighten all the senses. More than the pain, some people just really enjoy the sense of frustration and desperation that bdsm play can give them. Because after hours of that sort of 'torture' there is usually a huge payoff in the form of a very very intense orgasm.
I am not an expert by any means and am learning all the time with the help of some wonderfully open and experienced sources. I am very excited about this novel and where it is going to take me and my readers.